24 Belvedere Estate

A weblog of Rahul Jauhari

Dear Brother Mayawati

Posted on | September 22, 2009 | View Comments


(Important)

Dear Brother Mayawati,

Jai Ho.

You will note I have taken the liberty of addressing you as brother.

It is not without reason.

Neither is it without verification from wikipedia*.

So please do not be offended.

This once, I will not digress as I often do.

I will come to the point ASAP – (new word, again courtesy wikipedia* :-D )

Well, a few days back, some brothers came and painted your face on the village school wall.

Talli, who was sprawled in the vicinity, was impressed with what he saw.

In fact it was Talli who insisted we look you up on wikipedia*.

Brother, let me tell you.

What we found is not merely impressive.

It is super.

Your achievements are far too many to be counted on my fingers.

But with your permission, I will, here, highlight Talli’s Top Three.

~~

1.

Dhaniya, the village bootlegger once told us it takes 10 lakh rupees minimum to get an inspector transferred from a thana.

But you?

You have been known to transfer hundreds of them without paying a single naya paisa!

It takes an awful lot of guts to beat the system like that.

Super.

2.

Respected Bapu endured decades of hardship, sacrifice, even celibacy in serving our great nation.

Only then were his statues put up in various places.

But you?

With far less effort, you have accomplished it in a matter of mere years!

It takes an awful lot of focus to achieve such monumental success.

Super.

3.

It took someone as fortunate as brother Ambani much inheritance, countless gas findings, mergers, family feuds and what not to reach where he is.

But you?

When it came to paying income tax, you, in spite of your humble origins, took just a few years to surpass even him!

It takes an awful lot of honestly to achieve such stature.

Super.

~~

We thought hard, brother.

We even asked headmasterji to think for us.

You see, Sarpanchji’s wife aside, we have always known this world to be dominated by men.

But we could not think of even one man as gutsy, focused and honest as you.

In fact they were not even half as manly as you have proven to be.

Now you see why I address you as I did?

Now you see why I insisted you take no offense?

BTW: I have also read that you dream of becoming the prime minister of our nation.

Talli says you underestimate yourself.

With your charisma and prowess, he sees you as the President of America very soon.

In fact, the last thing he said before passing out was this:

“Sushree? Rubbish. Supershree is more like it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* wikipedia, brother, is a glorious online service we have discovered. We suspect it was founded by brother Jobs. We have asked him about it, but he is yet to confirm the same.

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View Comments to “Dear Brother Mayawati”

  1. merajhasan
    September 23rd, 2009 @ 12:07 am

    hilarious and sharp!

  2. Pushkaraj
    September 23rd, 2009 @ 2:06 am

    Superb. It is difficult to decide which one of your Dear Brother posts is the best. My vote is still for Jobs.
    I was in Lucknow last month and poured out my aghast state on my blog about the monstrous monuments. You have done a better Jobs. Sorry, job.
    Keep writing, Dear Brother!

  3. Chintu
    September 23rd, 2009 @ 8:27 am

    chacha nehru zindabad.

  4. cockybox
    September 23rd, 2009 @ 9:21 am

    Hahahaha… Loved It :-)

  5. Aditya
    September 24th, 2009 @ 12:20 am

    Haha Mayawati should read this :D

    Super slapstick comedy !

  6. Shilpa
    September 24th, 2009 @ 2:08 am

    Now this was a power post. Superb!!

    shilpa

  7. Paritosh
    September 24th, 2009 @ 3:47 am

    Too Good bro… Awesome sattire

  8. Shrinath Vashishtha
    September 24th, 2009 @ 4:14 am

    Great piece of satire, indeed, Rahul! Juice by you!
    3 Cheers to the apt salutation!!! :)

  9. shouvikgupta
    September 24th, 2009 @ 4:45 am

    heheheeh superb!!

  10. sn
    September 24th, 2009 @ 4:50 am

    Dear Maya Mata (*this gesture is due to Navratraas): I have started believing in upper wala from the day your dreams of becoming prime minister got shattered…guess he was forced to listen to the majority of the votes (prayers)…and yes for a change there was no Voting Scam involved this time..

  11. Rahul Jauhari
    September 24th, 2009 @ 9:00 am

    Hey thanks folks, glad you all liked the post :-)

  12. Bipin Trehan
    September 26th, 2009 @ 5:10 am

    Mayawati has always abused her power and authority. She is definitely one of the reasons why the educated middle class population does not have much trust in the political leaders. No wonder the state always figures at the bottom of so many scales (except for probably on the corruption index)
    Good post.

  13. Naveen kumar
    September 27th, 2009 @ 12:10 pm

    Memorial-wati needs to read this letter :P ! .. she is only matched in the memorial spree by the gandhi family- the big daddies of Indian politics :(

  14. Rahul Jauhari
    September 27th, 2009 @ 12:18 pm

    Memorial-wati – that's a cool one :-)

  15. Kirtish
    September 30th, 2009 @ 12:42 pm

    Hahahaha :D
    too good!!!

  16. RRITIK
    January 25th, 2010 @ 11:12 am

    all….dis is shit…….all those who commented proboly doesn't want to see someone sucess………u all r jealous what she is today

  17. RRITIK
    January 25th, 2010 @ 6:12 pm

    all….dis is shit…….all those who commented proboly doesn't want to see someone sucess………u all r jealous what she is today

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