Dear Brother Teleshopping

Posted on | October 1, 2009 | Comments

Dear Brother Teleshopping,

No greetings to you.

Apologies, but I do not know how to greet someone as enlightened as you.

You see, late Sunday night, we were all watching TV at the village square.

Talli, in his usual high spirits, was playing with the channels.

It was he who stopped at this amazing vision:

A man and his wife are seated in their house.

A lady relative is visiting them.

“How is everything?” she asks them.

“Great. Business, life, home, everything is great,” he replies.

The wife beams.

The visiting lady looks at the man jealously.

Evil rays emerge from her eyes and head towards the man.

But just before they reach him, a mystical shield surrounds his head, deflecting the evil red rays.

We watched with bated breath.

Magic?

No.

It was the Nazar Suraksha Kawach.

The Evil Eye Bead that can protect one from evil looks.

Available for only Rs. 2375.

What a revelation. What a discovery.

This magical Nazar Suraksha Kawach, we were told, had saved many marriages from breaking and many businesses from collapsing.

Do you know how irritating it is to the nose when chachi burns all those red chillies every time she tries to save Bansi’s son from the evil eye?

Not anymore.

After all, your wonderful Evil Eye Bead is also smoke-free!

Brother, I am the converted preaching to you now.

You have opened our eyes.

Now we know why Jaggu (aka Jags) got polio when he was three.

Now we know why there was no rain last year.

Now we know why brother Shiny Ahuja was caught.

Now we know why uncle Bhushan can’t perform in spite of 4 marriages.

It was definitely because of an evil eye.

But thanks to you, nothing like that will ever happen again.

Brother, you know things no one else does.

You are a visionary, a saint, a prophet.

You possess exceptionally rare wisdom.

Do you know how we figured that out?

Well, we checked online.

Even the glorious wikipedia did not know about Nazar Surakhsha Kawach

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PS: Savitabai is ordering 20 pieces – one for each member of her village kotha. She says the evil eyes of the wives of her honorable customers are always threatening them.