Dear Brother Twitter

Posted on | November 28, 2009 | View Comments

Dear Brother Twitter,

WTF.

I don’t know what that means, but I think it is a popular greeting in your world.

So I am hoping you will like it

In fact in our village we like showing our respect three times.

So here goes.

WTF. WTF. WTF.

I am hoping you will like that more

You will wonder how I found you.

Well, I did not.

Jaggu (aka Jags), our village cybercafe owner did.

You see, Jaggu, Talli and I are country liquor bar regulars.

Every night, we drink and talk about many things.

But lately something happened to Jaggu.

He began talking less.

I mean the Jags we knew wouldn’t allow anyone else to speak once he started.

But this new Jags?

He spoke less. And less. And less.

One night, Jags passed out earlier than usual.

And even as Talli and I were finishing our last one for the road, he started mumbling peculiar words in his drunken state.

Words we had never heard before.

“RT. WTF. Hashtag.  Follow Gulpanag. Follow Kareena. Follow Bipasha.”

We were alarmed, brother.

Why would Jags want to follow them?

Who were these RT, WTF and Hashtag?

Why did he want them to follow sister Gul, sister Kareena and Bipasha?

You see, the last time Jags tried following Bansi’s ex-wife (she walked out on him), he was thrashed by the village ladies.

Had he forgotten that lesson?

We were alarmed.

We were drunk.

We had no one to turn to.

So we turned to brother Google.

And that, brother, is how we discovered Jaggu had found you.

For two days, Talli and I explored your world.

And we understood.

It was you who was making Jaggu speak less.

You did not allow him his usual long-winded conversations.

He who speaks less, knows more, says Masterji.

So maybe that is good for Jags.

But late night in the country liquor bar, we miss his long stories.

We really do.

Another thing.

You may be big time popular with many people, brother.

But I must urge you to consider this.

Don’t follow people.

It is not an activity a decent person like you should indulge in.

It might even get you into trouble.

If Bajrangi (our village wrestler) were to find out Bipasha is being followed, we will not be able to save you from him.

So much for this time brother.

Treat this as advice from an elder brother.

Don’t take it in any other way.

You see, even though we seem apart, we are exactly like each other.

Know how?

My life, like yours, also revolves around 140 characters.

That includes me, Jags and Talli

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS: Can you tell Bipasha I am not following her because I am a good person. I do happen to like her actually…