24 Belvedere Estate

Dear Brother Kalmadi

Posted on | August 3, 2010 | 21 Comments

(Personal)

Dear Brother Kalmadi,

Greetings.

Kallu, our village gambler, says a special ‘yo’.

Ever since the glorious wikipedia told us that your middle name is also Kallu, he has been wearing a special friendship band in your honour.

Wait, he says ‘yo’ again :-D

Brother, we are aware of the trouble surrounding you.

Brother Twitter has told us.

So have brother IBNLive and sister NDTV.

Everyone seems to be doubting you.

But they do not see what we see.

You have replaced ancient Business Sense with new-age Business Benevolence.

Is it true that you bought an umbrella for more than 6000 rupees?

Benevolence 2.0!

Brother, we are with you. Seriously.

Myself, Talli, Jags (Jaggu) and of course Kallu.

Last night, just before placing the last order in our country liquor bar, we formally formed the Committee of Organized Comrades of Kalmadi.

C.O.C.K. will be spearheaded by Jaggu, our village cybercafe owner and internet expert.

C.O.C.K. has a single-minded agenda.

Every time someone accuses you of building leaky stadiums, hanky-panky-deals, etc, simply send us an e-mail with that person’s address.

We will send Bajrangi, our village wrestler to sort him out.

Trust us, we guarantee the results.

And Brother, as a confidence building measure, we, on behalf of C.O.C.K., invite you to purchase the following items at these special rates from us:

  • Buffalo Milk – 800 rupees/litre (water mixing 70 rupees/litre extra)
  • Country Liquor – 250 rupees/pouch
  • Bansi’s old cooler (1 year old, good condition) – 18000 rupees.
  • Broomstick – 600 rupees a piece.

All items will be delivered on advance payment with proper stamped receipt.

Okay?

So much for now Brother.

Bajrangi awaits your signal.

Meanwhile, ignore all those aspersions and keep that eye on the games.

Like Talli said just before he broke the bottle on Dhania’s head last night:

Only someone as uncommon as you can make the Commonwealth Games a success.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. Since the bank account of C.O.C.K. has still not been opened, we are accepting only cash payments for now :-)

Category: Commonwealth, Humor, India, Satire
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  • http://www.crazy4footie.info Tanuj Lakhina

    Love the abbreviation. C.O.C.K! :D

  • Harry Jerry

    lol – good one!

  • Ravi

    O Jee oye!
    Aur to aur do remember that there is a VAT.
    And service tax.
    On all your expenditure!
    Aur tu yaad rakh – Kitana bhi event bada kar – baki kaam nahi karega to tera mooh hum kala karenege…

  • Arjit

    LOL!

  • Abhishek Neel

    Loved it ;-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=653270009 Swathi Pradeep

    lol… rofl

  • Pushkaraj Apte

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHH !
    My dear friend, you prove it again. What pure red hot angst (my latest post, I mean) cannot achieve, sarcasm can! Well written!
    My best wishes are with C.O.C.K.

  • http://rahuljauhari.com/ Rahul Jauhari

    Hey, really good to see you here after a long while mate :-)

  • http://www.cockybox.com cockybox

    hahaha… Welcome back :-)

  • http://rahuljauhari.com/ Rahul Jauhari

    :-D and where have YOU been all these days?

  • http://www.apnicommunity.com/members/-tvguy.html tv guy

    Great blog! much appreciated.

    Sent from my iPhone 4G

  • http://www.facebook.com/naveen1990 Naveen Kumar

    lols … i also got some ‘rentable’ stuff lying around … maybe brother kalmadi can help in my early retirement plans … with his blessing i am planning to retire by the age of 21 :P

  • http://rahuljauhari.com/ Rahul Jauhari

    21? Then only Kalmadi can help ;-)

  • Kirtimalini

    Hahahaha…
    What foresight!! Since, now we have seen that Dear Brother Kalmadi was indeed playing games with the games. :)
    And the latest I hear, is that he is hiding somewhere. He sure needs Bajrangi’s help now!!!

    • http://rahuljauhari.com/ Rahul Jauhari

      :-) yes absolutely time to send Bajrangi…

  • http://anonymouspoets.wordpress.com/ Neha Vyas

    I really love your blog. Was recommended by a friend. Please keep writing.

    • http://rahuljauhari.com/ Rahul Jauhari

      Hey Neha, thanks so much :-)

  • Ved Agarwal

    Whatta fun read !

  • Iti Dubey

    excellent blog..loved it….