“Hi Sheetal. My number is 98*******0. I wish to surrender this number.”

“Thank you for the number Sir. How can I help you?”

“I want to surrender this number, this connection.”

“Why Sir?”

“This is a Delhi number. I moved to Mumbai a few years back but kept this number alive. I don’t really need it and there is no point incurring roaming charges on it.”

“So you don’t want this number?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Sir I can give you an option. We can transfer this number to Mumbai.”

“Meaning?”

“We can give you another number in Mumbai with the last five digits same as this one.”

“I already have a Mumbai number with the last 5 digits same as this. I want to surrender this number.”

“You are sure Sir?”

“Yes I am.”

“Sir I can give you a second option. We can put this number in suspension for 3 months. So you will be charged zero rental. As long as you don’t use this number, you will be charged nothing. But if you use this number in this period, you will be charged.”

“Madam, I do NOT want this number. Can you please take in the request to surrender it?

“You are sure Sir?”

“Yes I am.”

“Sir I will give you a third option. Why don’t you gift this number to a relative? Your wife?”

“Madam, we all already have mobile connections here in Mumbai. I don’t need this number.  Can you PLEASE log in my request?”

“So you are convinced that you want to surrender this connection Sir?”

“Yes. I am.”

“Okay Sir. I can see you have no outstanding amount to be paid. Please note this service request number.”

“Tell me.”

“******.”

“Thanks. By when will this process complete?”

“Sir you will need to give me an alternate contact number.”

“96*******0.”

“Thank you for the number Sir. You will get a call from us soon on your alternate contact number.”

“Great. But what for?”

“They will ask you these same questions I asked, once again.”

“Why??”

“You will have to convince them just like you convinced me Sir.”

“Meaning??”

“You have convinced me. You will now have to convince them Sir. Once you do that, they will surely disconnect your number.”

“What???”

“Thank you for calling Airtel. You are speaking to Sheetal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This transcript is 99.99% accurate, barring a word or two that I may have missed. Needless to say, I am still awaiting the call back from Airtel Customer Care.

P.S. The name Sheetal is purely representative.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(19.01.11) UPDATE: The call-back happened today. Yes, the lady who called began going through the same motions again. I had to, tad rudely, cut her short. I’ve been assured the number will be disconnected by the 21st.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(20.01.11) UPDATE (1): Spoken too soon. Yet another lady called, asked the same questions, again. Now assures the disconnection will happen in 7 working days. Sigh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(20.01.11) UPDATE (2): And YET another lady called, asked the same questions, again. Assures the disconnection will happen in 2 working days. Grrr.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(31.01.11) I destroyed the SIM Card. Checked after 4 days. Number disconnected. Case closed. Phew.

My blog posts are part of Social Media.

Pictures that you put up on Flickr contribute to Social Media.

Comments posted by readers on this blog and the discussions that happen between them via these comments are also content.

All this content becomes part of Social Media.

Everything Internet and mobile users post, upload, share – it all goes into creating Social Media.

Why is this a concern for brands?

Well, for a long while brands spoke to people.

In the hope they will listen, feel and do, as brands wanted them to.

Life has moved on since.

People don’t listen as much anymore.

They talk. They opine. They influence.

Increasingly they create Social Media in this process.

It’s not that people never did this earlier.

It’s just that it has become ridiculously easy for them to do so now.

So if they like or dislike ‘anything’, they can discuss it ‘anywhere’.

Like on the comment section of this blog.

And today, that ‘anything’ can easily be a brand.

Tables turned.

So now, instead of talking to people, brands need to talk with them.

Conversations – as the lingo goes.

That should be easy, no?

There is just one problem.

Who on earth wants to converse with a brand?

The last time, eons back, a representative of a washing powder company wanted to converse with me, I sent my house-help out to tell him I wasn’t at home.

It hasn’t changed since then, at least for me.

So how does a brand converse with people who are more vocal, more opinioned and less interested in ‘conversing’ with them.

By ‘enabling’ Social Media?

Suppose I use an Internet messenger to chat with my friend.

The last thing I want is a telecom brand to barge in with offers, information or questions in the middle of my chat.

But if that Internet messenger itself comes courtesy that telecom brand, I don’t mind.

Maybe I’ll even like it.

Yes, it is an extremely basic example.

But I think the principle works.

I don’t want Facebook to be overrun by brands.

I don’t want to receive tweets from my favorite jean manufacturer.

I hate every promotional text message I get.

I hate every mass mailer that hits my inbox.

Hell, I even delete weekly updates from news sites that I myself signed up for.

How have brands reacted to the new me?

To begin with, they all have websites.

They are gunning for Twitter accounts.

They are starting ‘fan’ pages on social networking sites.

I see their banner and text ads when I access my Internet mail.

Etcetera. Etcetera. Etcetera.

Do these really draw me?

Honestly, no.

What draws me?

Websites are useful – if I am seeking the information they provide.

Like news, tariff plans, handset details, vacation locales, software updates and downloadable e-papers.

Or if the tools they hand out actually help me.

Like downloadable apps, music, e-books, loan calculators, travel planners, mutual fund performance charts.

I like it when brands tell me something I didn’t know, or offer something useful.

Not when they want to sell me their history or their offers.

Especially in the middle of a conversation I am having with someone else.

As my blogger friend lsbhat pointed out via email:

Brands need to find ways of being useful.

It’s not about being ‘Viral.’

There is a huge element of ‘voluntary’ activity when it comes to the web.

You can’t ‘create’ a viral, force me to ‘view’ it and ‘pass’ it on to everyone in my contact list.

He cites the example of Eco Drive by Fiat.

A great example of being useful to the consumer and making him/her turn to the brand voluntarily.

Indeed, brands need to react differently to the Social Media Revolution.

Brands need to be CAUTIOUS.

The web, as a medium, can be as punishing for a brand as it can be rewarding.

Example?

Today we are seeing aggregation of social media reactions in the same place.

Assume I blog my criticism of the way an airline handled my baggage.

Someone links to this post.

I comment on another post on the same topic.

Someone else comments on the same with his or her own experience.

Someone starts a complaint page on the web.

Now here’s the twist.

There are tools that will collect all conversations linked to my post across different social media platforms and collate the same beneath my post.

That means I don’t need to do much at all.

All the criticism automatically gets added to mine and collects in one single place.

Echo from JS-Kit, expected to roll out any day, is a striking example.

So if the airline was hoping I was a solo voice, it needs to think again.

The nature of Social Media demands that brands be far more cautious, wary, smart and willing to learn the new rules of engagement.

It is no longer the case of a single consumer looking at a TV set.

It is no longer a single voice over the toll-free complaint line.

Go deal with that.