(Important)

Dear Brother Mayawati,

Jai Ho.

You will note I have taken the liberty of addressing you as brother.

It is not without reason.

Neither is it without verification from wikipedia*.

So please do not be offended.

This once, I will not digress as I often do.

I will come to the point ASAP – (new word, again courtesy wikipedia* )

Well, a few days back, some brothers came and painted your face on the village school wall.

Talli, who was sprawled in the vicinity, was impressed with what he saw.

In fact it was Talli who insisted we look you up on wikipedia*.

Brother, let me tell you.

What we found is not merely impressive.

It is super.

Your achievements are far too many to be counted on my fingers.

But with your permission, I will, here, highlight Talli’s Top Three.

~~

1.

Dhaniya, the village bootlegger once told us it takes 10 lakh rupees minimum to get an inspector transferred from a thana.

But you?

You have been known to transfer hundreds of them without paying a single naya paisa!

It takes an awful lot of guts to beat the system like that.

Super.

2.

Respected Bapu endured decades of hardship, sacrifice, even celibacy in serving our great nation.

Only then were his statues put up in various places.

But you?

With far less effort, you have accomplished it in a matter of mere years!

It takes an awful lot of focus to achieve such monumental success.

Super.

3.

It took someone as fortunate as brother Ambani much inheritance, countless gas findings, mergers, family feuds and what not to reach where he is.

But you?

When it came to paying income tax, you, in spite of your humble origins, took just a few years to surpass even him!

It takes an awful lot of honestly to achieve such stature.

Super.

~~

We thought hard, brother.

We even asked headmasterji to think for us.

You see, Sarpanchji’s wife aside, we have always known this world to be dominated by men.

But we could not think of even one man as gutsy, focused and honest as you.

In fact they were not even half as manly as you have proven to be.

Now you see why I address you as I did?

Now you see why I insisted you take no offense?

BTW: I have also read that you dream of becoming the prime minister of our nation.

Talli says you underestimate yourself.

With your charisma and prowess, he sees you as the President of America very soon.

In fact, the last thing he said before passing out was this:

“Sushree? Rubbish. Supershree is more like it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* wikipedia, brother, is a glorious online service we have discovered. We suspect it was founded by brother Jobs. We have asked him about it, but he is yet to confirm the same.

It’s Sunday and it’s Ganapati time in Mumbai.

A welcome respite from the overbearing specter of Swine Flu.

And young Ganapati has his annual task pretty clearly chalked out.

As the saying goes, nothing moves in Mumbai till this young elephant God’s blessings are taken.

He is the unofficial CEO of the city.

He is the Remover of All Obstacles.

Possibly the reason why, this year, even television channels are seeking his blessings in their hunt for greater TRPs.

Picture this.

The Star News anchor introduces us to Lord Ganapati, Lord Shiva and Parvati.

Ganapati is introduced as the God who is worshipped before any other God.

Shiva and Parvati indulgently look on.

The anchor goes on to talk about Saas, Bahu & Saazish.

Lord Shiva innocently asks – “What is Saas, Bahu & Saazish”?

(Isn’t the destroyer of all evil supposed to know it all?)

Nevertheless, the anchor explains.

We go on, as part of the program, to see small clips of programs like Sach Ka Saamana and Channel V’s eXhausted, among others.

The Gods look on with interest.

I honestly didn’t know they would find reality TV so cool.

Especially if you consider the fact that the almighty keeps an eye on the biggest reality show ever.

Yeah that’s us – you, me, neighbor, neighboring country, global warming, politics, cricket etc etc.

As the episode of Saas, Bahu & Saazish ends, the anchor seeks their blessings.

Ganapati, seated between Shiva and Parvati, holds the Star News branded mike in his hands.

The Gods bless the anchor and the show closes.

Sweet, no?

I guess there is a large audience that will smile adoringly at this.

And go on to add to the TRPs of the channel.

I am also waiting to see the day when the Gods will actually don the role of anchors.

And read the NEWS, possibly?

(This post was first published Here on Desicritics)

“I can’t speak my mind. I am in Advertising.”

Shamelessly stolen from a fellow Tweeter. Opinions invited.