Dear Brother Mayawati,

Jai Ho.

You will note I have taken the liberty of addressing you as brother.

It is not without reason.

Neither is it without verification from wikipedia*.

So please do not be offended.

This once, I will not digress as I often do.

I will come to the point ASAP – (new word, again courtesy wikipedia* )

Well, a few days back, some brothers came and painted your face on the village school wall.

Talli, who was sprawled in the vicinity, was impressed with what he saw.

In fact it was Talli who insisted we look you up on wikipedia*.

Brother, let me tell you.

What we found is not merely impressive.

It is super.

Your achievements are far too many to be counted on my fingers.

But with your permission, I will, here, highlight Talli’s Top Three.

~~

1.

Dhaniya, the village bootlegger once told us it takes 10 lakh rupees minimum to get an inspector transferred from a thana.

But you?

You have been known to transfer hundreds of them without paying a single naya paisa!

It takes an awful lot of guts to beat the system like that.

Super.

2.

Respected Bapu endured decades of hardship, sacrifice, even celibacy in serving our great nation.

Only then were his statues put up in various places.

But you?

With far less effort, you have accomplished it in a matter of mere years!

It takes an awful lot of focus to achieve such monumental success.

Super.

3.

It took someone as fortunate as brother Ambani much inheritance, countless gas findings, mergers, family feuds and what not to reach where he is.

But you?

When it came to paying income tax, you, in spite of your humble origins, took just a few years to surpass even him!

It takes an awful lot of honestly to achieve such stature.

Super.

~~

We thought hard, brother.

We even asked headmasterji to think for us.

You see, Sarpanchji’s wife aside, we have always known this world to be dominated by men.

But we could not think of even one man as gutsy, focused and honest as you.

In fact they were not even half as manly as you have proven to be.

Now you see why I address you as I did?

Now you see why I insisted you take no offense?

BTW: I have also read that you dream of becoming the prime minister of our nation.

Talli says you underestimate yourself.

With your charisma and prowess, he sees you as the President of America very soon.

In fact, the last thing he said before passing out was this:

“Sushree? Rubbish. Supershree is more like it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* wikipedia, brother, is a glorious online service we have discovered. We suspect it was founded by brother Jobs. We have asked him about it, but he is yet to confirm the same.

A welcome respite from the overbearing specter of Swine Flu.

And young Ganapati has his annual task pretty clearly chalked out.

As the saying goes, nothing moves in Mumbai till this young elephant God’s blessings are taken.

He is the unofficial CEO of the city.

He is the Remover of All Obstacles.

Possibly the reason why, this year, even television channels are seeking his blessings in their hunt for greater TRPs.

Picture this.

The Star News anchor introduces us to Lord Ganapati, Lord Shiva and Parvati.

Ganapati is introduced as the God who is worshipped before any other God.

Shiva and Parvati indulgently look on.

The anchor goes on to talk about Saas, Bahu & Saazish.

Lord Shiva innocently asks – “What is Saas, Bahu & Saazish”?

(Isn’t the destroyer of all evil supposed to know it all?)

Nevertheless, the anchor explains.

We go on, as part of the program, to see small clips of programs like Sach Ka Saamana and Channel V’s eXhausted, among others.

The Gods look on with interest.

I honestly didn’t know they would find reality TV so cool.

Especially if you consider the fact that the almighty keeps an eye on the biggest reality show ever.

Yeah that’s us – you, me, neighbor, neighboring country, global warming, politics, cricket etc etc.

As the episode of Saas, Bahu & Saazish ends, the anchor seeks their blessings.

Ganapati, seated between Shiva and Parvati, holds the Star News branded mike in his hands.

The Gods bless the anchor and the show closes.

Sweet, no?

I guess there is a large audience that will smile adoringly at this.

And go on to add to the TRPs of the channel.

I am also waiting to see the day when the Gods will actually don the role of anchors.

And read the NEWS, possibly?

(This post was first published Here on Desicritics)

Shamelessly stolen from a fellow Tweeter. Opinions invited.

Once upon a time, in far-far-away land, possibly centuries back, someone declared ‘Knowledge is Power’.

Someone else took the words too seriously.

The result?

Mum’s Law of Suppression

“Most humans will succumb to their chronic urge to refrain from sharing even the most useful information with others until compelled by an external impressed force, tantamount to pain of death, to act otherwise.”

Look around.

People often find a huge sense of power in withholding information that could help many if shared.

The same information, when contained, offers nothing tangible to the suppressor.

Yes, the same can be said of companies, organizations. But then companies and organizations are nothing but a collection of people.

So back to people it is.

I am sure we have all encountered and continue to encounter such people in our day-to-day life.

The finance person who WON’T tell you that you can save tax by shifting one part of your salary from one head to another.
(No, he does not freelance for the IT Department)

The HR person who does NOT consider it important enough to tell you that you can claim cab fare after certain hours of late work.
(As if he/she co-owns the bus you take)

The fellow in the elevator who can see your fly is open, but WON’T tell you.
(WTF. I mean WTF mate, what do YOU gain here??)

The chap across the counter who CAN tell you that you filled the form wrongly, but would RATHER let you discover it when the it comes back to you after a month.

A closer look will reveal this:

Corollary to Mum’s Law

“The triviality of the information suppressed as per Mum’s Law is directly proportional to the satisfaction derived by the suppressor.”

Seriously. Be it in office or outside, the glee that people experience by NOT sharing what they know increases with the utter silliness of what they know.

Tell me. What will the accountant gain by NOT telling you that your claim is lying approved on his desk since 10 days.

I mean WTF – he doesn’t get to take it home.

Closer home, in Advertising, creative people have historically failed to fathom what servicing people gain by NOT telling them that the pitch got postponed by two days.

It’s Mum’s Law. And it rules.

Interestingly, during my research, I made another observation.

Exception to Mum’s Law

“If at any point, under any circumstance, Mum’s Law faces that unique a situation where it can actually be useful, the Law will, of its own accord, CEASE to work.”

Yes. When encountered with totally trash information, the law stops working.
Precisely at the point where it can, for ONCE, be useful.

I am sure you will recognize some of these information forms.

• I-know-what-those-two-were-up-to-in-the-conference-room.

• I-know-what-his-CTC-really-is.

• I-know-why-he-actually-quit-his-last-job.

• I-know-exactly-why-she-hired-him.

When faced with such knowledge, Mum’s Law instantly ceases to work

Possibly because this knowledge will NOT, in any form, help any one.
Which in some way, goes back to reaffirm the ‘triviality’ clause of Mum’s Law.

Mum’s Law is a chronic disease that afflicts many individuals.
Evidence can be easily found in corporate and non-corporate environments.
I have collected some examples.
Feel free to add to the list, from your experience.

If any of it seems useful, I will not tell anyone.

I promise.