Dear Brother Mayawati,

Jai Ho.

You will note I have taken the liberty of addressing you as brother.

It is not without reason.

Neither is it without verification from wikipedia*.

So please do not be offended.

This once, I will not digress as I often do.

I will come to the point ASAP – (new word, again courtesy wikipedia* )

Well, a few days back, some brothers came and painted your face on the village school wall.

Talli, who was sprawled in the vicinity, was impressed with what he saw.

In fact it was Talli who insisted we look you up on wikipedia*.

Brother, let me tell you.

What we found is not merely impressive.

It is super.

Your achievements are far too many to be counted on my fingers.

But with your permission, I will, here, highlight Talli’s Top Three.

~~

1.

Dhaniya, the village bootlegger once told us it takes 10 lakh rupees minimum to get an inspector transferred from a thana.

But you?

You have been known to transfer hundreds of them without paying a single naya paisa!

It takes an awful lot of guts to beat the system like that.

Super.

2.

Respected Bapu endured decades of hardship, sacrifice, even celibacy in serving our great nation.

Only then were his statues put up in various places.

But you?

With far less effort, you have accomplished it in a matter of mere years!

It takes an awful lot of focus to achieve such monumental success.

Super.

3.

It took someone as fortunate as brother Ambani much inheritance, countless gas findings, mergers, family feuds and what not to reach where he is.

But you?

When it came to paying income tax, you, in spite of your humble origins, took just a few years to surpass even him!

It takes an awful lot of honestly to achieve such stature.

Super.

~~

We thought hard, brother.

We even asked headmasterji to think for us.

You see, Sarpanchji’s wife aside, we have always known this world to be dominated by men.

But we could not think of even one man as gutsy, focused and honest as you.

In fact they were not even half as manly as you have proven to be.

Now you see why I address you as I did?

Now you see why I insisted you take no offense?

BTW: I have also read that you dream of becoming the prime minister of our nation.

Talli says you underestimate yourself.

With your charisma and prowess, he sees you as the President of America very soon.

In fact, the last thing he said before passing out was this:

“Sushree? Rubbish. Supershree is more like it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* wikipedia, brother, is a glorious online service we have discovered. We suspect it was founded by brother Jobs. We have asked him about it, but he is yet to confirm the same.

I was seriously hoping to get a BMW, iPod or something like that on my blog.
Not Advaniji.

However hard I tried, I couldn’t run away from him.
He kept reappearing on my blog banners.
Benign smile included.

Coming to the point, the BJP was all over the web this time.
Zillions of banners across the www.
The new web savvy face of the party.
A clear attempt to connect with the youth of the country.

It didn’t work.

There are plenty of post mortems floating around by now.
I have 3 cents to add to the same.

1. Just because you are present on a younger forum doesn’t mean you will be seen as young. I mean I just can’t see respected Shri Advaniji as the face of new India. Sorry.
2. You don’t barge into social media and expect to be welcomed. You need to make yourself part of someone’s social world first. And then ask for favors.
3. Before you put the bucks behind the message, put some thought behind the message itself.

I guess you can’t just do an Obama and expect a landslide victory when you don’t have a credible, powerful clarion call as Obama had in the first place.

I also believe you don’t advertise on Social Networking sites.
Social Networking sites are like people’s homes.
Nobody wants an ad in his/her private space.

If you search for Advani or BJP on Facebook, you will find quite a few pages and groups.
The maximum number of members in any group is less than 900.

Kiran Bedi’s facebook profile meanwhile has 2022 friends.
And I don’t think she had to spend a penny to get there.

Moral of the story?
Unless you have a credible message and unless you use the medium the way it should be used, all the 2.0 you do could fetch you nothing more than a zero.

P.S. Advaniji’s website is still working. It already has his views on the election debacle.