WTF.

I don’t know what that means, but I think it is a popular greeting in your world.

So I am hoping you will like it

In fact in our village we like showing our respect three times.

So here goes.

WTF. WTF. WTF.

I am hoping you will like that more

You will wonder how I found you.

Well, I did not.

Jaggu (aka Jags), our village cybercafe owner did.

You see, Jaggu, Talli and I are country liquor bar regulars.

Every night, we drink and talk about many things.

But lately something happened to Jaggu.

He began talking less.

I mean the Jags we knew wouldn’t allow anyone else to speak once he started.

But this new Jags?

He spoke less. And less. And less.

One night, Jags passed out earlier than usual.

And even as Talli and I were finishing our last one for the road, he started mumbling peculiar words in his drunken state.

Words we had never heard before.

“RT. WTF. Hashtag.  Follow Gulpanag. Follow Kareena. Follow Bipasha.”

We were alarmed, brother.

Why would Jags want to follow them?

Who were these RT, WTF and Hashtag?

Why did he want them to follow sister Gul, sister Kareena and Bipasha?

You see, the last time Jags tried following Bansi’s ex-wife (she walked out on him), he was thrashed by the village ladies.

Had he forgotten that lesson?

We were alarmed.

We were drunk.

We had no one to turn to.

So we turned to brother Google.

And that, brother, is how we discovered Jaggu had found you.

For two days, Talli and I explored your world.

And we understood.

It was you who was making Jaggu speak less.

You did not allow him his usual long-winded conversations.

He who speaks less, knows more, says Masterji.

So maybe that is good for Jags.

But late night in the country liquor bar, we miss his long stories.

We really do.

Another thing.

You may be big time popular with many people, brother.

But I must urge you to consider this.

Don’t follow people.

It is not an activity a decent person like you should indulge in.

It might even get you into trouble.

If Bajrangi (our village wrestler) were to find out Bipasha is being followed, we will not be able to save you from him.

So much for this time brother.

Treat this as advice from an elder brother.

Don’t take it in any other way.

You see, even though we seem apart, we are exactly like each other.

Know how?

My life, like yours, also revolves around 140 characters.

That includes me, Jags and Talli

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS: Can you tell Bipasha I am not following her because I am a good person. I do happen to like her actually…

“Sorry about the twuckup,” I wrote.

It wasn’t deliberate. It just happened.

Which led me to ponder over Twitter‘s growing influence on the written word, barely years after text messaging shortened the English language.

And I found a variety of new terms that have sprung up as tweeting becomes popular.

Some are minor variations of the original English word.

Some are interestingly coined.

I wonder when these terms will begin to travel outside Twitter and start becoming part of our vocabulary?

Here are a few that I have compiled from a few sites I visited.

Actwivist
One who uses Twitter messages to advocate/oppose a political, social or environmental cause.

Attwaction
A crush on a fellow twitterer.

Dweet
A tweet made under the influence of alcohol.

Illtwitterate
The uninitiated. (You should be knowing this!)

Omnipotwit
An all knowing, all powerful deity on Twitter.

Puntwit
An authority on Twitter. May or may not enjoy such status outside of Twitter.

Regurg-a-tweet
The act of re-tweeting a tweet that someone originally tweeted about you.

Twaddict
One addicted to Twitter.

Twamous
Famous on Twitter.

Twyber Sex
Need I explain?

Twottie
A hot woman on Twitter.

Twawkward
Being awkward on Twitter.

Tweep
Weep on Twitter.

Tweetheart
Twitter + Sweetheart

Tweetup
Twitter + meet-up: a gathering of folks based on a twitter conversation.

Twesaurus
A list of synonyms for terms found in the Twictionary.

Twitterrhea
A high volume, unpleasant and occasionally messy blast of tweets. Can be contagious.

Twypo
A typo on Twitter

AND HERE IS MY CONTRIBUTION

Twickie
An short but intense exchange of lusty tweets with a Twottie.

Twemble
What you do when your wife discovers the Twickie.

Tweet-talk
What you try desperately to make your wife believe it was all very innocent.

Twivorce
What your wife responds with to your above antics.

Tweep

Yup. That’s all you can do for the rest of your Twitterlife.

________________________________

BTW. Feel free to add to the list.

Cheers